![]() X’s best songs – from “Sad!” to “Revenge” to “Jocelyn Flores” – showcase a versatile artist deftly able to channel his pain into unflinching, oftentimes beautiful portraits of confession.īut, as the years went on, X’s demons continued to haunt him, eventually resulting in the 2016 assault of Ayala. The teenage Onfroy eventually found solace in music, which functioned as “an antidepressant.” It’s also where he showed off a sensitive, emotional and deeply wounded side. “This is a person who was looking for love and dealing with some really raw early-life experiences.” ![]() “The troubles he was facing were truly emotional and revolved around the need to be understood,” Folayan says of X. “We spoke all the time about how he was feeling.” “And as he rose to fame, I knew that added pressure would only make it worse,” Cleopatra Bernard tells GQ, noting that neither of them believed in prescription medication to treat mental illness, instead turning to alternative methods like “mushroom tea and weed.” “I was very concerned,” she adds. At age 18, he revealed to her that he heard voices in his head. X’s battle with his mental health was something he openly discussed with his mother. In what turned out to be a rare occurrence, the outlet’s journalists got the rapper to open up during a series of soul-baring interviews. Unlike so many other recent posthumous documentaries, what makes Look At Me! so powerful is that X’s voice is a clear and present one: in 2017, a year prior to his passing, and upon his release from prison, FADER spent two days with the artist. That was the biggest tension for us and the biggest challenge.” “Tensions ran high sometimes but we wanted to tell the whole story. “We had to tell the true story,” he says. Rob Stone, founder of FADER, who also served as executive-producer on the film, concurs. “If it’s going to be a redemption story then I’m going to have to see that evidence.” “Ultimately,” the filmmaker says, “the viewer can decide for themselves” what to make of the film’s central figure. While the director admits that X’s mother (who serves as a producer on the film) hoped this would be a redemption story for her son, “I told her, ‘I don’t know if this is going to be a redemption story or not,’’’ Folayan recalls. ![]() “I have so many songs written, but I do think it would be nice to write under the circumstance where it’s not in the middle of having my hands tied, like being bound and gagged.Folayan tells GQ the film only could work if she assessed X’s entire, oftentimes-contradictory dichotomies. I think there’s some things that need to be finished, and I would like to write some songs,” Ferreira notes. This will be her first release since her 2013 debut. It shouldn’t sound complicated to your ear.”įerreira has noted she is not putting off releasing new music, but rather putting the final touches on this project. The song doesn’t sound as complicated as what it is, but that’s the point. When I’m listening to music, it’s like, Why do I even like this part? Do I like the tone of it? There are all these elements, and then I try to make it into one thing. I just need to figure out, What do I actually want to say? and What do I want to make? and shut that out. I listen to new stuff too, but when I’m writing and I’m making music, I listen to things differently. It’s not that I’m trying to sound like that. When I think of pop music, I lean towards the ’80s and ’90s without meaning to. I realized that about my music, I’m just not a minimal person. “People who heard it were like, ‘Why isn’t this chorus bigger?’ In a way, it’s minimal. “The song’s actually a weird song the chorus is weird,” Sky told Vulture in a new interview, according to Brooklyn Vegan.
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